Danny's recipe for pumpkin pie

Inspired by Dave Barry

1. Go to a farmer's market and buy the most awesome pumpkin you can find. That means no blemishes, and perfectly round. It also needs to be big enough that you need two people to lift it up to put in your trunk. A good handle thingee on the top is also critically important.
   
2. Take it home and find the largest, sharpest cutting implement that you can find. Swords will do nicely. Slice off the top in a neat pattern by poking the blade through and then use a sawing motion that the sword was never designed for and try to avoid stabbing the floor your pumpkin is sitting on.
3. Pull out all the innards. Separate out the seeds, salt, and bake them since they are yummy that way. Take the rest of the innards, mix with cream, egg yolks, sugar, pumpkin spice, and vanilla and heat it up. Eventually it will turn into a custard that bears a faint resemblance to what you ate last year during the fall.
4. When no one else tries a bite, go in a sulk go to the super market and buy what people are expecting.